Use your head and be objective to discuss the issue
Some people think that men can not live without sex and that girls should please them from before marriage. To analyze whether or not this the first condition is to use the right ... because if "you think" the feelings the result may not be everything you'd want to sound. What we think is one thing and what we feel is quite another. This topic is very important to distinguish these two areas, reason and feeling, because sex is moved by passion and produces a very intense pleasure, and these two things obscure the intelligence.
is easy to fool yourself and others, just for the pleasure it brings sexuality, suggesting that in general it is theoretically bad, can even be good in your particular case. And you could find arguments that try to justify it. The best way to avoid scams is to look at the issue objectively, ie outside of one. It is clear that no one would like his sister or daughter to bed with anyone, even feel worse thinking about the mother herself acting in this way, ie having sex outside of marriage experience. So be honest with yourself, why wish for your girlfriend, whom I imagine want-so you do not want at all to the other loved ones? Is not it strange that inconsistency? No, it is not at all. Analyzing the case happens to other people you have the objectivity that is lacking in yours. Often in my conversations with children, I ask: "Would you marry a girl who has gone through various" beds ", the answer is always the same:" No ". It is clear that no one wants a second-hand wife. So answer: "if you demand what you're not willing to give, you're a ... "
To understand how and when to run the sexuality, it is necessary to understand what it is. And we must begin by understanding the human being ... This is not a treatise on anthropology. simply cast a series of grounds of common sense about sex. Taken separately, some may may be questionable. A single reason just might not convince you. suffice to understand and accept one among all, to share the conclusion. However, the force is in whole: it is definitive.
Sex, love and marriage
Some people think that men can not live without sex and that girls should please them from before marriage. To analyze whether or not this the first condition is to use the right ... because if "you think" the feelings the result may not be everything you'd want to sound. What we think is one thing and what we feel is quite another. This topic is very important to distinguish these two areas, reason and feeling, because sex is moved by passion and produces a very intense pleasure, and these two things obscure the intelligence.
is easy to fool yourself and others, just for the pleasure it brings sexuality, suggesting that in general it is theoretically bad, can even be good in your particular case. And you could find arguments that try to justify it. The best way to avoid scams is to look at the issue objectively, ie outside of one. It is clear that no one would like his sister or daughter to bed with anyone, even feel worse thinking about the mother herself acting in this way, ie having sex outside of marriage experience. So be honest with yourself, why wish for your girlfriend, whom I imagine want-so you do not want at all to the other loved ones? Is not it strange that inconsistency? No, it is not at all. Analyzing the case happens to other people you have the objectivity that is lacking in yours. Often in my conversations with children, I ask: "Would you marry a girl who has gone through various" beds ", the answer is always the same:" No ". It is clear that no one wants a second-hand wife. So answer: "if you demand what you're not willing to give, you're a ... "
To understand how and when to run the sexuality, it is necessary to understand what it is. And we must begin by understanding the human being ... This is not a treatise on anthropology. simply cast a series of grounds of common sense about sex. Taken separately, some may may be questionable. A single reason just might not convince you. suffice to understand and accept one among all, to share the conclusion. However, the force is in whole: it is definitive.
Sex, love and marriage
's sex is a really great. Both that touches the divine, in that God shares it with his creative power. This paper wants to warn of the risks of trivialization. For that analyzes the negative consequences of sex without true love. Some people confuse lust with love ... With so sad confusion, it is important to defend your sexuality, an impressive-for treasure that you are capable of a really great love.
The first question to ask is whether sex has something to do with love or is something like a game, for example playing cards. No one would ever demand love to play a game of tennis. If sex has anything to do with love, then you have some conditions.
In the same vein is that wonder if sex is something that is essentially related to marriage or not. Husband and wife have dinner together, but no one would say that eating together is an activity reserved exclusively for marriage.
If you do not see a clear difference between having sex inside or outside of marriage, your problem is you still have not understood what marriage is. Perhaps you think it is a part, a legal proceeding, without major consequences in reality.
Some people think that after marriage is wrong to have sex outside of marriage (ie being unfaithful), but the pre-marital sex is different. I do not know if you realize the inconsistency: outside marriage means someone with whom one is not married, and so out it before with anyone (including the groom himself) that then who is not her husband.
To understand the issue will realize that marriage establishes a single unit between a man and a woman, in the words of Scripture makes "one flesh", ie somehow are no longer two, but one. Something changes in people. Have given life and belong together.
A comparison. A seminarian may be very committed to his priestly vocation, but not before being ordained priest. You can have a great desire to be cured, but if to celebrate Mass before ordination, would make a sacrilege and of course not consecrate the bread and wine. Is that management makes a change in him: not the same sooner than later. Something similar happens with the marriage.
relationship with love and sex marriage gives a very particular character.
Why say "NO"?
Some reasons to say "no" extra-marital sex (pre-marital course included). Sometimes they will say no to another person, other to your own feelings or desires. Note well that each "NO" is rooted in a "YES" very big and important.
1) "No, because I love you real "
Can hold that sex outside of marriage is an expression of love? Let's see. You of course want your mother. Would you like she had extra-marital sex? You want your sister, would you want anyone to take her to bed? You want your daughters, would you in the future to lie with every boyfriend to have? So if you want no sex outside of marriage for women who want more, why want it for your girlfriend, who theoretically are in love? Could it be that the fact that you who have sex change your appreciation of the subject, making an exception? Is say that your girlfriend would be allowed extra-marital sex only with you, and you with whatever your girlfriend at all times. Let me tell you that it appears that is not good for you it is not good for others, and you should want it for your girlfriend that you want for women who are most dear to you. The correct answer would be "precisely because I love you, I want the best for us, that we keep our sex to marriage."
2) "No, because I want our love to last forever I do not want to risk our future"
Statistics show that couples who have not lived purity before married are 50% more likely to fail in marriage than the rest. Do not play with your future happiness.
This is not about statistics, a good courtship is a condition of a good marriage. And a good dating requires purity: it is a time to know each other, to discover if the other person is right to share the rest of my life and be the parent of my children. Purity is the condition of success for this sole purpose of dating. Why? For three reasons:
a) If the sex is present in the relationship ... there is no way of knowing what keeps them together ... Experts say that the mere mutual sexual satisfaction is able to maintain two people together to between 2 and 5 years ... So if there is nothing that a couple ... "works" ... for a while ... So there are people who get married and then realize ... they were not the each other ... not before they realized they were too busy enjoying each other's bodies ... and the rest was irrelevant.
b) objectivity need to know the other person. When natural sexual attraction becomes the center of the relationship, you lose objectivity. Look, the important thing is not like kissing someone else ... If the purity does not govern the relationship and the first thing to pay attention to is their sexuality, this darkens your eyes, and give less attention to what really matters. A friend used to say: "If your eyes are stopped in their breasts ... will never reach his heart." When I enter a room looking for a notebook, I can see other things in the room, but do not pay attention ... I am looking for the notebook. Sex absorbs the attention ... because of sex, many are married to the wrong person, because it is not fully known, and so, as you can imagine, the marriage can not end well ...
c) Sexual intercourse reduce your freedom. Because, after sex, will cost much more cutting, if you realize that the characters ideas, etc.. are not very compatible. A heavy burden will weigh on you ... and you can finish in front of an altar joining your life whom you should not .... Is not it dangerous to play with sex?
3) "No, because I want to save the best wedding present for you"
What treasure going to deliver the wedding night if you've lost before? Does it make sense to give gifts for Christmas in August? The dreams for marriage are dying ... because your anticipation of the mutual giving him nonsense of such surrender, the poorer. Taking such "advances" will not help the married life ...
4) "No, because I will not cheat"
Human beings are spiritual creatures and spirituality encompasses our whole being. Therefore, sexual union is human only to the extent that it is the union of the whole person. Moreover, if expression of the deepest union of souls. Release the body, without having delivered the soul, is a scam. In marriage, when two people give each other each other, forever, put their lives in one lifetime. So this union is also expressed bodily, sexual union makes complete and perfect spiritual union. Before the marriage can deliver only the body can not express ... a union that does not exist. Is an empty symbol ... an expression of something that does not exist, therefore a big lie. You can explain it simply: "I do not want to hurt you, The day you my body is because before I have given you my whole life. Today, you can not give you what I want: my whole being, body and soul, present and future. If I give my body, I would be cheating, because I'd be giving the best of me, my whole being. "
5) "No, I do not want to feel ashamed of you"
No guarantees that you will marry him / her. Suppose you slept with your boyfriend / a. This engagement can be completed in a marriage or not. If not you marry him / her, will you be proud or ashamed of those relationships? Did I say how you can face him / her you'll look when in the street or at a social gathering, etc., Especially if you him / her across your husband and your children? What have feelings for that person?
6) "No, because I want to be proud of you"
If they marry, "you can explain to me which side are you going to teach your daughters to live in purity? Are you going to advise your daughters that imitate your behavior? Will you be so hypocritical as to give advice that you did not want follow? Are you going to lie about your girlfriend? Will you that your daughters friends treat you like you treated your wife? For love, of course.
7) "No, because I will not regret later"
think that one can only regret woefully what should be a great act of love, shows that something is wrong.
A test! How many people regret having sex before marriage? How many complain of having none? How many who are not virgins wanted to be? How many are they would like not to be? Draw your own conclusions. Virginity is a gift supreme expression is given as belonging exclusively and finally or is it something that you lose a sad night ... perhaps under the effect of a glass too many. And only once in their life ... no second chance ...
8) "No, because I want to show that I care for you"
purity in dating is a guarantee of fidelity. If he has no respect for you, you're going to be his wife and the mother of his children, how you can explain me how to respect you not love that? If you are unable to resist the temptation of love to you ... how the resistance at other times? If you do not say no to know ... what will tell others? This is the best test of loyalty.
9) "No, because I know how much you love me"
How do I know if I really want? Words can not ... The way to check is through time and sacrifice. Regarding the latter, checking if it can "hold it" for love. No other evidence has been found most reliable love.
10) "No, because I want to trust you"
Because sex without a lifetime commitment not unite, separate. The feeling bitter and sad after having sex before marriage is a clear sign of this universal. This passes only the beginning. Sometimes, a groom says to his girlfriend: "Do not worry, you'll get used." It is a sad truth, with some "practice" it is not going to feel more ashamed, he will stop thinking it's wrong. But only because it will corrupt. Similarly, the first time a murderer kills someone feels really bad, but when it takes a bit of "practice" is used to it and stop feeling that is wrong. For this reason it is best not to get used ... Love unites, selfishness separates. Where is the difference between love and selfishness? Love is giving, seeking the good of others, selfishness is to use the other person to get something, looking for my own good. If you have aware that sexual activity produces a very intense pleasure, you will notice that can easily be an instrument of selfishness (even within marriage ...). If I seek pleasure, I'm selfish. If I press the other person to give me pleasure, I am even more selfish.
11) "No, because I want to keep pure the vehicle of my love for you"
Sexuality is very personal and human when integrated into the person. When awakened sexuality in adolescence, a person must be integrated into their personality, to be able to express love through it. This process involves abstinence, because chastity means the integration of sexuality within the person and thus the inner unity of man in his spiritual and physical. It is the only way to get control of their own sexuality and thus make it capable of expressing love through sex. Take into account that human sexuality is only when it has been "spiritualized" because it only acts when expressed to the intelligence and will, and under his control. Needs to be put in place: under the control of intelligence and will. Otherwise it becomes an uncontrollable instinct, which is not only dangerous, "all sexual violence is a result of this, but also makes it impossible to find and express true love. As you can see, the sex if it is integrated into the whole person, not an expression of love, but only an instrument of pleasure and therefore selfish. If sexuality is not lived in an orderly manner before marriage can only be a channel of their own selfish satisfaction of instincts disordered and likely to function well after marriage ... And the only way to integrate it into your personality is to say 'no' to instinct when claiming sexual "action" out of place. Only a virtuous person can express love through sex.
12) "Not because we have to make our love grow"
unite two lives is not easy ... At first, the sexual attraction is strong ... and passion is imposed in the relationship ... is impetuous. The spiritual component of love, the better, deeper, full of truth ... that grows slowly. Needs to mature as both people are making a ... You need spiritualized relationship. We have to get that passion does not send ... that what unites them into a deeper, more spiritual ... Those who marry for love ... always regret ... because ultimately fail to function ... Done unanimous dating experience: the purer the relationship, they enjoy it, the better you spend together, the less stress there, etc.
13) "Not because I want the best for you"
really love is wanting the best for the beloved. It is better to be a virgin at marriage than otherwise. It better be pure not. Is better ... Sin can never be better.
14) Something unanimous: all cultures have always reserved sex for marriage
Even in primitive African tribes polygamous ... a non-virgin girl could not aspire to be first wife ... Faced with such unanimity, it is clear that something ... All religions will condemn premarital sex. God is love ... something that offends you can never be an expression of love, or contribute to love. To the extent that separates from God, apart from those who supposedly love. It is impossible that something goes against God's love is an expression of love ... love to call something that goes against the Eternal Love sounds blasphemous.
Author: Paul Writes
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