Here we talk about how they should be the relationships that predate the marriage, to reach their true purpose-not too far: the creation of a family built on the fidelity of conjugal love open to life .
One of the most prestigious contemporary psychiatrist, Victor Frankl, in his book Psychoanalysis and existentialism, says even in the love between the sexes is not corporeal, sexual, a primary factor, an end in itself but merely a means expression. Love can be substantial, even without that. Where possible you will want and seek, but, when required renunciation, love is not cool or extinguish (...) The true love need not, in itself, of the body or to arouse or to perform, but It uses both. The man is a composite of spirit soul and body, to whom I will love, the physical relationship sexual, is but a means of expressing what is true love, ie of the spiritual ... (H. Vitae).
postponing the satisfaction of sexual impulse is achieved something very essential: the deepening of the spiritual dimension of love, which is what is called to stand above all physically or mentally avatars that can bring long life. The sacrifice that continence is taught to love the soul, mind and will, which is the most perfect and dignified in man. This sacrifice is the first large donation to be a loved person, the first manifestation of a truly personal love. Sometimes one of the boyfriends more often-he-demand delivery of the other body as proof of love. However, a love that requires testing is delivering his own verdict, says J. Fischer. The characteristic of love to give, not take or possess. Love is sacrifice, "wrote Pemán-and to be happy is to know without running look at the flowers. What if they're torn? Which soon is in your hands a flower faded, withered, without mystery and without charm, unscented, colorless, moth-eaten.
regard to the acts that naturally call to full sexual relationship, you can not do that as a natural consequence is precisely what is avoided. I can not pull a large stone against a glass if I break it, and if the shot, even to declare that he wanted to break the glass, I wanted to. In most things in life, which depends of how or when. How and when to often change what, and transform it profoundly. The flow of the river by its flow is peaceful and fruitful. When you leave here, but disproportionate power river is a cruel monster, which destroys everything in their path. The water is safe according to how you feel. If contaminated, a drop may be sufficient to bring the cemetery.
in human behavior, what we do, depends largely on how and when to do it. Specifically, if the genitalia is used in the context of its own in the service of genuine love, ordained to life, then not only is a good thing, but even can be holy. Those who seek physical pleasure before marriage is left almost inevitably drag to focus on their feelings and get him well for marriage, looking at all the other an instrument of pleasure that the marriage can always use at will. Change of vision after marriage is very difficult. The pursuit of sexual pleasure before marriage spirit leans not see this as just a natural and personal satisfaction in itself, which makes it difficult to link it to yourself to all of life (Lecreq).
A report by the Union des Organismes Internationel Familiaux (München), reads as follows: The whole sex, and fondling producing orgasm, have a fascination for lovers who normally check and prevent them from accurately assessing other elements of marital harmony, especially the mental and spiritual. It often follows the disappointment after the wedding, which is more serious as despised factors can hardly recover. By contrast, when the psychic and spiritual adjustment occurs in full consciousness, the basis is stronger and marital sexual experience is enhanced and becomes increasingly rejuvenated. Premarital sexual experiences, far from helping to love, deformed. He who comes to the marriage without giving him the integrity of the emotional impulse is like a runner who was wounded in the foot before the race line. There is therefore a means to prepare for marriage by carnal experiences ... So not surprising or shocking that married people have to start learning, go through a period of trial and error and that their behavior is sometimes clumsy. It is inevitable and we must say and repeat with insistence that learning is impossible marriage before marriage. It must be said and repeat it, because it constantly tries to elude (Lecreq).
The unique biological structure with dazzling shows clearly that the genital relationship is intrinsically ordered to procreation. Even in the case of infertile couples, in their case something like blindness, the eyes can not see, but in any case, the rationale of the eye is the eye, its structure and context is intrinsically ordered to the vision. As it is human procreation, involves the education of children that are conceived. And the dignity of the human person demands that we are in the midst of a real family, that is, with guarantee of stability and adequate educational opportunities, which is only true in the indissoluble marriage. In fact, in the treatment of people, shaking hands is not the same as giving the hoof: a handshake is a spiritual event, is to give something of the spirit, friendship, understanding, perhaps forgiveness, loyalty, and so on. The hand is not just a piece of meat, bones, nerves, veins and nails. Shaking hands is to give something personal core. Therefore, the total delivery of the body, also gives the whole person, which only makes sense in the marriage. Precisely because the spiritual meaning and purpose of the conjugal act, ordered to love and life, the same union is unlawful and contrary to the nature of the act outside the scope of indissoluble marriage. Full sexual union means, in effect, becoming one flesh.
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